three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize