goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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