wat bout pragnant strippers??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
