Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
