The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
