Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
