i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
