i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
