office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
