if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
