Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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