i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
