All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
