You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
