Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
