through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
