At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
