This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
