): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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