drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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