everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
