I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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