so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
