ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
