he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
