hell yes lets make some ravioli
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize