i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
