When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
