I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dicks are not precious.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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