So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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