If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize