Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i dont even know how to be here
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize