Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
