The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
