The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
