My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
