Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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