thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize