Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The power of my boobs compel you
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
