So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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