Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
