you guys were way drunker than both of me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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