We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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