1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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