we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
