you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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