we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize