the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
