even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i think im in europe. pls send help
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
