Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
