I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
