..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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