im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
