This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
