im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
