end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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