420 ftw
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
