Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize