Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
