dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
