never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
