Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
As shirtless as possible
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
