Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
