It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
