He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
