i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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