is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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